Important
Before you start, each person involved in the relationship must commit to trying to own and share any jealous feelings without accusing others for victimising them and or defensive and then aggressive when challenged about their behaviours. Everyone will experience those feelings and do things that are unhelpful but it is how they behave next that is the make or break for the health of the relationship.
Unchecked dishonesty and secret-keeping can permanently poison any relationship and is emotional abuse. Abusers have been abused and represent more than half of the population. One of every 2 people you meet.
If someone is abusive, sensitively end the relationship with them for the time being and gently suggest they engage in talking therapy. Only when they have succesfully addressed their own issues, should you reestablish a relationship with them. Abuse will eventually poison the relationship and ripples outwards to impact other relationships.
Be brave and prepare for a hurtful, aggressive response - they will probably lash out defensively and claim that you are abusive. They will claim that they are the victims and that you are manipulative and controlling. Do not buy into this or get upset - they cannot help it.
It is very important that you are able to follow the principles I lay out below if you want to engage in group sexual activities either alone, or with a partner. Otherwise you are certain to cause serious issues for your own relationships and those of others.
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essential reading for ALL relationshipS, SEXUAL OR Not
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Sex Beyond Monogamy - grab your copy by clicking this image
The classic guide to love, sex, and intimacy beyond the limits of conventional monogamy has been fully updated to reflect today's modern attitudes and the latest information on nontraditional relationships.