Sharing feelings safely(A.K.A. Avoiding abuse)
Before you start, each person involved in the relationship must commit to owning and sharing jealous and/or envious feelings without accusing others for causing them. Those receiving the feelings must commit to not becoming defensive or aggressive but to listen without interruption until invited to give their response.
Everyone experiences feelings of jealousy and envy and/or hurt and will do things(mostly not intentionally) that prompt those feelings in others but no one can "make" another behave unkindly, they choose to. Both the receiver and giver of such information have a right to be listened to and considered. Having had such a conversation, is how both choose to act in the future to improve things that is the make or break for the health of the relationship.
Unchecked dishonesty and secret-keeping(including not non-judgmentally sharing your own feelings of jealousy and envy) is a betrayal of trust. People who betray your trust have had theirs betrayed by others and probably represent way over half of the population. Babies are born into the world trusting others, not expecting to be betrayed.
Someone "cheating" on a partner has betrayed, but if the hurt partner then attacks them instead of non-judgmentally sharing how they now feel and opening up the chance for reconciliation and a possible change of agreement, they just betrayed trust back. Boom - game over!
If someone repeatedly betrays you, sensitively end the relationship with them. Only if they ask for your advice should you suggest they engage in talking therapy(not the same as "This is over, you are abusive and need professional help!"). Only when they have successfully addressed their own issues, should you consider reestablishing a relationship with them but you have no obligation to do so. Accept betrayal and you will begin to normalise it and become an abuser yourself.
When confronting most people with your hurt feelings, be brave and prepare for a hurtful, aggressive response - they may lash out defensively and claim that you are abusive because they can't or don't want to accept their part(it is highly destabilising for them) . They may claim that they are your victims and that you are manipulative and controlling or mentally unstable(this is known as "gaslightling"). You must not buy into this warped perspective or show them you are upset but, instead, cut off all contact immediately. They may well want to "keep" you close because you just became the kryptonite they need to contain and control to feel better about themselves and they became yours.
In extreme cases, they may resort to bogus criminal allegations and/or co-opt/coerce feeble mutual friends and family to enact your social isolation. This then becomes a serious matter of survival for you but, whatever you do, do not respond in ways that prejudice yourself with the Authorities(who may also regard you as a danger to their existence). You then help everyone to lock you(maybe literally) in a very real and hopeless situation. Always cut off contact at your earliest opportunity to avoid escalation. Please note: If you are lucky with individuals within the Authorities, they will have experience of such nefarious victimisation in their own lives and be wary of jumping to false conclusions about the credibility of accusers. This is, without doubt, the elephant in the room behind the low levels of domestic abuse, ex-partner stalking and rape convictions(not to excuse any of these prevalent crimes which destroy lives but are sometimes difficult to prove, for the reasons just given!).
From Wikipedia: "[kryptonite] is generally harmless to humans in the short term, but deadly in the long term."
It is especially important that you feel safe in your existing relationships and are already following the jealousy advice above before you experiment with group sexual activities(the no. 1 sexual fantasy for all of us, according to research by sexual psychologist Justin Lehmiller), otherwise you are certain to cause serious harm to yourself, your relationships and those of others.
Phew, with that heavy, but essential stuff out of the way, let's get on with some positive, love building advice with those you have now assessed as safe to have relationships with!
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essential reading for ALL relationshipS, SEXUAL OR Not
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Sex Beyond Monogamy - grab your copy by clicking this image
The classic guide to love, sex, and intimacy beyond the limits of conventional monogamy has been fully updated to reflect today's modern attitudes and the latest information on nontraditional relationships.